January 2012
7 posts
1/26 -- on the verge of giving up
i miss you so much that it hurts so bad inside. i feel so.. empty without you. idk how i’m ever going to get over you. this makes me so mad. i keep thinking about you everyday hoping that today will be the day that we will talk again. i look at pictures of you and a big smile comes across my face. it sounds crazy i know, but i don’t wna give up on us. but at this rate, i know i have...
1/15/12
why is it that everytime i think about you, the song “someone like you” starts to play? it`s weird. it makes me feel weird. there’s not much i can really do anymore when it comes to you. you`re always gna treat me worse than i deserve. for some dumb reason, i won`t ever stop loving you. i can never stop wanting to talk to you everyday. i want to talk to you right now. i wish that...
1/15/12 AM post
why do you do this to me? you start talking to me and then you stop out of nowhere. like idk if you’re trying to play games with me or what but it`s fckn annoying. like last nite you asked me about my address and then you stopped responding. and a few hours ago you start talking to me out of nowhere and when i asked what you were doing, you never responded. wtf is this shit! are you testing...
1/14/12
i seriously don’t get how this works. you say hi to me when i least expect it and it confuses me! it`s like, why are you saying hi now? and you don’t say anything else afterwards. idk man. I MISS YOU. that is all.
1/13/12 -- am
so you were sexting me wednesday (1/11) morning and i was just going with it. like i said in the last post, we haven’t talked for days and just talking to you at all made me happy. it was through WWF so i didn’t think you were serious or anything. but then you started asking for pix and for some reason, i actually sent you some videos. stupid stupid stupid me! i haven’t done that...
1/8/12
i guess you’re ignoring me now? or you just don’t want to talk to me. i texted you yesterday and you didn’t respond at all. before that, we were lightweight texting on the 3rd and that was the last time i heard from you. what’s happening? i thought you were busy until i saw that you were still playing WWF with me. like seriously? can’t respond to my texts but you can...
1/1/12
i finally gave in and texted you wednesday nite (12/28). i just really missed you &couldn’t stand us not talking. i even said that i missed you. you didn’t really respond to that and it bugged me. so i asked if you ever miss me. you said yeah or that you think about me from time to time. you didn’t really tell me what it is you thought about, but i wasn’t going to pry...
December 2011
8 posts
12/28 AM
i’m tired. it gets exhausting just thinking about you now. i’m done. i thought that maybe i should hit you up just to say hi and see if things are okay, but i have no real reason to do that at all. i know you have no problem hitting me up first, &you still haven’t even really responded to my last couple texts, so something is up. if this continues, come 2012, you’re...
12/25 nite
REAL TALK; i’m hurt.
i feel like you’re purposely not talking to me. what did i do? was it the relationship status thing? i left it up for about 10+ hours. goshh. the things i do when i’m jealous :/ but then why aren’t you talking to me? it shouldn’t bother you. it didn’t before. i sent you a pic message n you didn’t reply. i sent you a christmas text...
12/24 morning
i don’t know why i changed my relationship status. i read the comments between you and that girl. it broke my heart. i felt like the only way for me to hurt you was like this. lame, i know. but i feel that as long as you think i’m not going to be here for you, you’re going to want me more. i have a really fucked up way of thinking. but if this didn’t make you feel anything,...
12/23 --after IM
okay so you hit me up first.. but then totally didn’t respond at all afterwards. wtf? you just said hi and that was it.. i feel like you’re talking to the other girl. i’m probably right.. basically one week left to prove yourself to me fool. just sayin.
oh no. i think i’m starting to think about you a lot again. you posted up a pic of you hurt on fb and it makes me feel hurt too. wtf. i shouldn’t be feeling this. i shouldn’t be feeling anything. but i can’t help it. i genuinely want you to be okay. taken care of. &it drives me crazy that you’re not! gosh! what am i suppose to do?! i want to talk to you first.....
i need you to prove to me that you want to stay in my life this upcoming year. i love you fool. i want us to stay close ass friends. but if you can’t prove to me in the next 8 days that you’re worth keeping in my life, i will cut you out. maybe not fully right away, but i’ll slowly let this happen. i don’t want to go another year with you taking me for granted because you...
just because i need to document it somewhere..
this past wednesday is the first wednesday i haven’t seen you. i’ve seen you every wednesday for the last 3 weeks. each and every one of those days had something special about it.
11/30— first time meeting your best friend. the car ride to go get him was super awkward and it immediately made me wish i didn’t initiate the hangout. but then i always feel like that in the...
i love you more everytime i see you. it makes me want to see you a lot more now! the less i see you and the longer it takes to see you again, i just get really pissed and frustrated. i hate it. i go crazy.
this hangout was amazing. you’re amazing.
we are so comfortable with each other that it’s crazy!
i kinda sorta wanna be with you still. i know that will never happen though. but...
November 2011
3 posts
i love you.
point blank.
nothing more to it.
nothing less.
i just love you.
how is it that i still may be in love with you but you don’t feel a thing for me? is that even fair? is it even right? i wanna be over you. and i wanna be over you now. this pisses me off to the fullest! i hate how i’m always constantly thinking about you. i hate how i’m always thinking about the past. and the crazy thing is, i’m not in love with the you that you are right...
October 2011
5 posts
one of these days..
for some strange reason..
i’m hoping that you’ll come to your senses and realize that i’m the perfect girl for you. if you’re lucky, i’ll respond by saying finally and just run into your arms and kiss you all over. but if you’re not lucky, like maybe a day or year late, i’ll just apologize and tell you that you missed your chance. i love you fool. i...
awww shiiiettt
you know i must still have feelings if i’m sitting here at home on the computer waiting to see if HE gets online. like he’s not on fb nor is he on aim. that must mean he’s out.. doing something.. with other people! like what the flying fuck! why do i care?! and why did i pass up the opportunity to go out tonite too?! i feel like i did back in high school when i wanted to talk to...
so i know what it is that i miss now..
and yes, it is you. i never think about it until we have days like today. i didn’t want to expect anything because everytime i do, it never turns out good. when we first saw each other, we didn’t even really hug or exchange any kind of greeting. we didn’t even really talk all that much. i was thinking that this was just going to end up all bad. the car ride to nibs was kinda...
it’s nites like these that make me realize that we are both on 2 very different paths that will never cross each other again. we are now parallel lines alongside from each other. going the same way but never touching. and i guess this is better for us. i wish i could always keep this in my head rather than change my mind. bleh. we’ll see.
I NEED TO LET GO!
WE ARE NO LONGER MEANT FOR...
September 2011
2 posts
i really miss you b.
either that or i just miss the thought of having a bf. i mean you were my only real bf that i count and that was 6 years ago. so im not sure exactly what it is im missing. i just feel really lonely and i hate it. i feel like im moved on from you but then im always thinking about our future. for some stupid frckn reason, im hoping that you’ll realize im the one and we can finally be together...
Oh private tumblr..
I apologize for not keeping up at all this year like I planned. I never really keep up with anything anyways so I didn’t have high expectations for this. I read through all of it just now and I sound so pathetic haha. Summer was amazing this year though. So amazing that I didn’t really have time to blog about it lol. It’s a new school semester now and it’s kinda boring....
July 2011
1 post
Wtf.
I went all day not telling him happy birthday. I mean why should I say it if he didn’t say it to me? But then I thought about it and decided that I would be the bigger person and just say it. He responded by saying that he was gonna be in town for a week. Wtf! So if I didn’t say anything, he wouldn’t have told me?! I asked him what he was gonna do and he straight up asked me for...
April 2011
4 posts
I can't exactly put words to how I'm feeling right...
but I’ll try my best to. Early morning vent. Gotta love these.
So the more I see this person, the less I want to see them. Does that make sense? We have an unspoken “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy between us. This person likes to think that we’re upfront and open with one another but we both know that we won’t share something unless the other does it...
I just want you to fckn miss me!
But that’s something I feel like I’ll never get from you.
&that’s a damn shame.
I'm just so ready to fall in love already!
Perfect guy, can I meet you already?!
I guess since we aren't on talking terms right...
I’ll use tumblr as a way to vent as if I was talking to you. I mean since I stopped blogging about what I’ve been doing, I need to blog about something. So here it goes:
April 3:
[AM] i so desperately want to believe that i can be happy without you. and when i say without you, i mean not being in each others lives at all. no facebook, no texts, and no contact at all. everytime we...
March 2011
3 posts
"If two lovers can remain friends, they were...
Damn. Wtf? Why hacen’t I heard this before?
How do you let go of someone you know you just...
I still think about my ex and our possible future. I fantasize that we’ll be together again and that this time it’ll be perfect. We’ll spend a lot of time with each other and fall in love all over again. Idk why I still think that way. We’ve been over and done with for years now and I know he’s not the right guy for me anymore. But for some reason, there’s this...
Start of something new! FORREAL
Feb 27- I skipped work so I could stay home and study for a fat test I had the next day… But I totally procrastinated the whole day! I even went out with JP to get some froyo! Yum! LOL.
Mar 1- Got a haircut! Bought diet pills…
Mar 2- First day I started to take these pills.. I know its a big cheat compared to just simply dieting and exercising, but I cant help it. I only have 2...
February 2011
6 posts
Just so lazy to keep up. But my forgetful ass...
Feb 19- VL’s kickback. So I offered to be DD (then again I really have no choice anymore lol) so JP could get as drunk as he wanted. Which he did and passed out on the stairs yet again haha. Even though I was 100% sober, I had a really fun time lol. Everyone was super funny and I was laughing the whole night. Some dramatic stuff went down though but I guess it really was some drunk thing cus...
I'm really bored with my life.
It’s like the same routine every single week. I go to school Mon-Thurs and work Fri-Sun. I only hang out with my friends on Friday and Saturday nites. This is driving me crazy! I want to do more things with my life. I should be more specific. More FUN things. The weather has been super nice lately and it’s such a waste if I’m inside a classroom or inside my work place while the...
I AM FAT AND IT'S MAKING ME REALLY UNHAPPY.
So I’ve blogged about my weight before and I will blog about it again right now. I still don’t understand the way my mind works. I went to the doctor today and she told me that I really need to lose weight or I am in HIGH risk of diseases. What do I do when I get home? BINGE! BINGE! BINGE! It makes no sense at all! I really need to lose weight! If I keep this up, I’ll be 200lbs...
I'm not keeping up! Aaaaahhhhh!
Arright so I’ve decided to just blog about days worth blogging about. There’s no point in posts that aren’t even exciting right? Lemme start with..
Feb 11; JT’s birthday kickback. I got so drunk this nite! LOL. I wasn’t even planning on drinking that much but when I saw V walk through that door.. I just couldn’t stand being sober. I took so many random shots...
Jan 31- School. Usual study session with R and L.
Feb 1- School.
Feb 2- School.
Feb 3- School. La came over after yoga and we played Just Dance 2 for awhile. She’s pretty good for someone who never played before. We were getting hella competitive or at least I was haha.
Feb 4- Work. Bum at home. Just Dance 2 and Wii sports with my mother LOL.
Feb 5- Happy Birthday to my bestie! Took...
I really hope that I don't forget to update.
Jan 25- School.
Jan 26- School.
Jan 27- Volunteer &school.
Jan 28- Work then at BM’s house for a kickback typa thing. &omg was it crazy! LOL. Her parents were out of town for the weekend so I guess her and her brothers all agreed to throw something at the house for Friday &Saturday. This nite was super fun though. I wasn’t really in the mood to drink but I guess I...
January 2011
18 posts
I need to get over him!
I feel like I am over him.. But then why am I trippin balls that he likes someone. I tried to sound like I was happy for him but of course I’m not. But why? What does it even matter to me anymore? We’ve been over for the longest time now! It’s the sex that’s complicated everything. Everything for me that is. And it sucks big fckn balls!
To Be Continued…
International studies.
Sounds exciting right? Well I’m sure it is and I’m sure it would be an incredible major. So why am I sad that my ex B is going to go into it? I don’t think I will ever understand the way I feel about him. I mean I know that I’m not in love with him or anything, but when he talks about the future, I get all asshurt that I’m not included in it. It’s weird. I...
Alright so...
I’m gonna blog about my whole week (7 days), every Sunday from now on. I want this tumblr to not only talk about my days, but to also vent about whatever I’m going through or thinking about. How boring would it be if I kept it as a daily journal type thing. So those weekly blogs will go all together while the others; pics, music, text, videos and whatever else will be blogged at any...
Gotta pick up my slack.
Jan 21- Woke up early enough to go to the post office and get my passport stuff settled. Then mama wanted me to go to Costco to get her a hotdog and drop it off at her work. My phone was still messed up so after I dropped off her food, I went home to change for work and then go to the Sprint store. Then I had the usual shift at work. Picked up my phone after and now it works perfectly! Damn.. I...
Beginning of something new..
Jan 17- Hella bummed around at home on my last day! Likee, I did nothing but watch tv. How fun? LOL
Jan 18- First day of Spring Semester 11! I had to wake up early to go to the post office and get my passport thing situated! But my dumbass left my Ls in my other purse while I was switching it. Fccckk. My mom was sure mad at me for that. I had my first class at 4 at City. Not too bad. My nerdy ass...
Last weekend before school starts...
Jan 14- Nothing until work til 730. Got home around 8 and there was already food on the table. SCORE! Haha. Just chicken and rice though. I thought I was having a hunger headache but it was still there after. Damn it. So I decided to take a nap before going out. Yeah… still had a headache. It was just on the right temple side too. But I wasn’t gonna let that stop me from going out. No...
"Have you ever felt really close to someone but...
Jan 13- Oh my La. I hung out with her today which is a first in such a long time. I mean yeah I went to that party with her and visited her at work, but those times were nothing like the days I usually have with her. She’s one of my really close friends. I was afraid that I was losing her due to not really hittin her up to kick it or anything, but at least today clarified all that. When she...
My days are like...
JAN 8- No hangover! Yes! Haha. I woke up pretty late that the only thing I could really do this day was shower and go straight to work. OMG! There’s this cutie that I met at work that I totally swoon over! He’s just so damn cute! Hella schoolgirl crushin on him like no other! Eeeeeks! LOL. After work, I agreed to go to a party with BM &La since I technically haven’t seen them...
I'm not sure why I'm bothered, but I am.
So I just found out that V is official with D. What should that matter to me right? I don’t really even know him like that. We just happen to be really close texting buddies for a week. What did I expect? To get married to him? No. But I did think something was there. I mean, why would you literally text someone nonstop (other than being at work or sleeping) if you didn’t think there...
Oh break, how you slowly kill me!
Jan 6- DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I literally woke up at 2 something since I slept so late the day before. I was craving junk food so I went and got me some Jack In The Box. BAD FCKN IDEA! Shit gave me thee biggest headache ever! Haha. So I just kicked it at home trying to get rid of the damn headache! This day was seriously killing me with boredom! I wanted so desperately to go out!
Jan 7- I...
January 5th
So this day was boring up until 9 at night! I didn’t do much during the day except watch Scott pilgrim vs. The world which wasn’t as good as I thought it was going to be. But that’s okay. At 9 I went out with my friend J because he was super bored as well. We went to applebees and we just talked trying to think of what else we could do that night. We were literally going to drive...