how is it that i still may be in love with you but you don’t feel a thing for me? is that even fair? is it even right? i wanna be over you. and i wanna be over you now. this pisses me off to the fullest! i hate how i’m always constantly thinking about you. i hate how i’m always thinking about the past. and the crazy thing is, i’m not in love with the you that you are right now. i’m still in love with the you that you were back then. it makes no sense. the you from back then no longer exists. it’s like i’m waiting for him to come back even though i know he’s gone forever. what am i suppose to do? i cant continue to unhealthly yearn for you. but at this rate, after all these years, it’s all i really know how to do. i’ve never been this comfortable with any other guy. after i hang out with a guy, i’m always comparing them to you and they’re just not good enough. i want to be happy again. i damn well deserve it. and i want you to be happy too… with someone else. i really hope that i’m able to keep this 2012 promise to myself. if it comes down to it, i might even tell you about it. fuck. i wanna be in love already! and i’m so ready to give it all up if it means i’m going to feel tortured like i do.. bleh. idk why i love you so much. i just wish one day that i won’t feel this way anymore.
