so you were sexting me wednesday (1/11) morning and i was just going with it. like i said in the last post, we haven’t talked for days and just talking to you at all made me happy. it was through WWF so i didn’t think you were serious or anything. but then you started asking for pix and for some reason, i actually sent you some videos. stupid stupid stupid me! i haven’t done that in FOREVER. i was that desperate to talk to you. it’s sad. you liked what i sent and you asked for more. i actually gave you more too. but then i was asking you to send me some and you never did. wtf! that’s not fair at all! and now i feel soooo freaking dumb to send you all that! fuck! i thought that it would make us talk again, but if anything, it made us even more distant. i tried talking to you thursday morning to see what was up since you didn’t send me any videos, and you actually responded. but not in a happy way. you were online shopping and you showed me what you were buying and that shit was expensive. i started crying because there you were spending money like crazy while i’m over here broke as hell. you’re changing. and sad to say, it’s not in a good way. but it’s not like i can do anything. we’re growing more apart everyday. later today, i decided that i was gna go to the bay. it was suppose to be spontaneous with la but let’s be real, i wanted to see you too. things didn’t really work out all that well. you were already gna be hanging with your friends so it wasn’t exactly fair for me to just but in out of nowhere. but i kept in touch n you texted me about everywhere you were gna go. i felt like it wouldn’t have been a good day to see you. which was true because if i did see you and your friends, i felt like you wouldn’t have talked to me anyways which would have pissed me off to the max. plus, you were with your 2 girl friends that you think are hott and if i was there, you totally would have compared and it would have killed me. so yeah. fate is trying to tell us that we shouldn’t be together or even see each other anymore. that’s okay though. i shouldn’t expect much. pluss, i’m suppose to be giving you up and i still haven’t. i knew this was going to be hard, but i didn’t know how hard until right now. i miss you. i miss the old you. i miss the you that i saw last month. that you is a lot better than the you today. but who am i to judge? it’s not like it even matters anymore. i loved you with all my heart. but now i must let that go. i must let you go. for good. it really pains my heart to type this because i know it’s the right thing to do. the only thing to do in something like this. i never thought we would end. like i knew we would have our downs, but this is just deep down that i don’t think it can be fixed. i loved you b. i still love you. but i`ll learn not to love you anymore. my heart can’t take this. i wish you the best. i will love you always and forever<3, i promise.
