Sounds exciting right? Well I’m sure it is and I’m sure it would be an incredible major. So why am I sad that my ex B is going to go into it? I don’t think I will ever understand the way I feel about him. I mean I know that I’m not in love with him or anything, but when he talks about the future, I get all asshurt that I’m not included in it. It’s weird. I don’t wanna be with him or anything but then I still have hopes for our future? WTF. It makes no sense at all. It’s like the only time I really think about him is when I have enough spare time to. When I’m out, I don’t really think about him at all &if he contacts me when I’m busy I get all annoyed. Idk. I guess I just want a bf and he’s, sad to say, the closest thing to it. He said mahal kita to me last saturday nite when I was buzzing. I was so damn shocked. Idk when the last time he said that to me was. Ugh. It’s still so damn complicated after all these fckn years. I need to get over it. Like, I hella want him out of my life. No more texting, facebook, aim or anything. I hate that I look at his facebook and get all jealous that he’s talking to other girls. We’re only really sexually attracted to each other and share the same taste in music. What kind of friendship is that? Ugh. Idk what to do. I just need to make myself busy. Stop thinking about him. It wasn’t even like this last year. I didn’t care what he did or who he hung out with. I was out doing my thing and he was out doing his. Why can’t it just go back to that?! Fck. I’m trying though.. I just need to try harder.
